Missing the Mark

2 weeks ago we had the privilege of having Israel Houghton in all our services at church and before he led us into worship he told us his life story;

“My mother is white. My biological father is black. When my mother was 17, she got pregnant. They lived in Waterloo, Iona, which at the time in 1971 was a very segregated society. She came home and told her parents, ‘I’m pregnant and the father is black.’ They had a really difficult time with it.

The suggestion was, ‘Have an abortion. Move on with your life.’ She was a terrific concert pianist, she had everything ahead of her, and in a lot of ways had every reason to go, ‘Let’s just chalk this up as a mistake and move on.’ She said, ‘No, no, I’m going to keep this baby.’ She ended up kind of getting shunned for a good chunk of her life after that and didn’t have a lot of contact with her parents.

When she was eight months pregnant, her and my father split up. So, if you get the picture, it’s 17,000 miles from home, she is pregnant with a black man’s baby that the state of California is getting ready to take away from her because she was considered an unfit mother, and she was on drugs. It was like the perfect Lifetime movie.

God sovereignly knew what was going on and made it such that this lady came up to her out of the blue and said, ‘I don’t know you, and I don’t want to give you a hard time, but I was driving by and I really felt that I needed to come tell you Jesus loves you. You’re not forgotten. You did the right thing. It’s going to be all right.’
Those words of life were so powerful to her and so revolutionary to her that she got on her knees on the street corner on Carlsbad Avenue, out of San Diego, and gave her life to the Lord. I’m here today because of that woman’s faithfulness to God to share the gospel with my mother”

This story moved me and got me pondering on how a lot of the times we are so caught up in making a difference, reaching out to humanity by going on mission trips but what better way to do it that than by starting with our immediate community, you know the people around us, the people that we do day to day life with. Also I think sometimes we need to break out of our little bubble and look beyond what's going in our lives and just reach out to someone other than ourselves that really needs some sort of encouraging. Often times we get too busy doing things that we consider more holy like going to church meetings, hanging out with our awesome church buddies but I think we have really missed the mark. Christianity means being a Christ follower and He was not always found in the church with Christians but He also hung out with non-Christians.

We need to remember that it’s not about my pursuit of being a professional Christian or speaking fluent Christianese but about the privilege and honour of standing in his presence feeling his touch feeling changed and projecting that across in our local communities.

Musings from a mended heart

I really thought he was the real deal; I had never been one to encourage distant relationships not to talk of considering one myself.

It wasn’t instant connection or love at first sight, In fact the first time I met him I thought “dude is doing my head in” he couldn’t stop talking about his high powered job which I took for arrogance.

But as I got to know him more I understood that it was all about passion and taking pride in his job.

I was surprised at how soon it took to be at ease with him because when it comes to relationships I am particularly picky, be it mere friendship or more intimate relationships with the opposite sex. So I was completely taken aback when I found myself getting along really well with him even though I hadn’t know him for that long and more astonishing that I was developing feelings for him.

Little did I know that all this was to be short lived.

I had never really been one to regret the past but in this instance I was almost wishing I had given him the time of the day that fateful day at the party because I had absolutely enjoyed every minute of knowing him and it was heartbreaking to realise he was moving away. If only I could turn back the hands of time I would have been the one stalking him at that party.

Even though he moved away and nothing became of our relationship I still stand my stance on never living a life of regret, I am happy we met for whatever reason.

I guess as we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.

Accident Prone???

Just the other day I was getting ready for work and mysteriously I tripped and bent my ankle in such a way that my foot ended up being sore and swollen.

So, I know it’s a new year and I know that it’s the norm to start the year on a positive note but I can’t help but wonder; am I accident prone?

A few years ago I was excited, was starting the first job in my field, had been away all summer, missed my friends and decided to come back a few days early before I started my new job. And I was really glad when one of my friends’s decided to have a party for her birthday as I had missed quite a few parties that summer. So we did the usual ; go out for a meal thingy and decided to maybe take the night a bit further, but we couldn’t decide where to go, so a bunch of us just thought we could go to my other friend’s place whilst we decided. On getting there we were too lazy to go anywhere anymore and choose to stay in and play charades. We divided ourselves into teams and got all competitive that our teams will win when all of a sudden; my team scored a point, I was so excited, I jumped and next thing I was on the floor and couldn’t get up. I had to restrain from tears as I was in wrenching pain and wasn’t too happy that I had to be party pooper. To cut the long story short ; two days later found myself with a broken bone in my foot and ended up having to wear a cast and was on crutches for 6 weeks.

Fast forward 4 years on after Christmas dinner with family we are all being silly and messing about, playing games and suddenly again I find myself face down on the floor. My initial reaction was that I had suffered a concussion but then the fact that I could still process my thoughts obviously meant that wasn’t the case. Being the superwoman wannabe, I took in the pain trying to pretend that everything was alright. A few days on and I was in so much pain in my jaw that, even though I was at work had to go to the AE department to make sure everything was ok. Luckily enough I could just flash my work ID and skip the queues. Only to be told that I had to have a series of x-rays done and may have to be referred to the Jaw x-ray specialist hospital. You can’t even imagine the horror on my face (I was trying to imagine myself in some sort of cast and crutches for the face). Well I was fortunate to be given the clear and it was just a soft tissue injury which could be taken care of with pain killers.

I am not sure if this is normal, but if it’s not then I need to make sure I take extra care in the future, not living in houses with a balcony or even standing too close to a window as I might just topple over or God forbid ever going bungee jumping, paragliding or skydiving as a badly executed move might make me land in His bosom sooner than I anticipated.

The Sixth Sense

I wish I had the courage to drown out all the voices around and just follow my heart like a dear friend of mine (A). A had always been a bright and brainy student and she was always artistic and entrepreneurial even to the extent that when she was in secondary school she used to make greeting cards and used to sell them to her fellow students. Being a product of a father who attended Cambridge she felt the need to excel in something “worthwhile” and decided to major in Sciences whilst in secondary school with the intention of studying Medicine. Well as fate would have it, due to circumstances that were beyond her control, she ended up studying Nutritional Sciences at University. But all the while she was studying , her heart was telling her to follow her dreams and she dabbled into all things artistic and entrepreneurial from modelling to running her own summer camp.

Just before she graduated she was indecisive about what to do with regards to her future career and without batting an eyelid she decided to enrol into fashion school, she applied into one of the best fashion schools in Europe with little or should I say no experience of fashion design but she had the determination and desire to follow her heart. She got in, which was a surprise to everyone, as it is very competitive to get in. And now a little over a year along she has her own label, hosted fashion shows, had her collections on the Nigeria fashion Week runway, opened a store just off the major shopping high street in Vienna, Austria and this is just the very beginning, I can’t even begin to fathom what more she can and will accomplish. I guess the sayings of a very wise man were true;

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs

I wish I had half as much courage to follow my heart and drown out all the voices around me.

P.S: link to my dear friend’s website is http://www.ayovanelmar.com/

Happy New Year!!!!

It has been a while, even that is an understatement it’s been well over a year. And so much stuff has happened I don’t even know where to start.
Well I should start by saying Happy New Year, after all a new year has just begun.

A reflection on the old year brings tears and a smile on my face.2011 has brought with it some highs and some lows but all in all I am really grateful for the year gone past.
I feel like I have reached a milestone in my life’s journey, even though this may not be visible to all but I am a strong believer in not “despising the day of small beginnings”.
I also feel like I have matured a lot in the past one year, it feels so weird, and because I have been working a lot on my personal development, it seems like such an achievement.

In 2011 I had so many dreams and aspirations and some of them actually materialised, some I still need to be hopeful for, but I am content with that which I have and that just makes it seems like I have it all.

I am proper hyped about this New Year; I am so sure it will be way better than the year gone past because it can only get better.

And on this Note, I will like to leave you with this;

Sometimes it feels like there are so many things in this world we can't control earthquakes, floods and all sorts of natural disasters but it’s important to remember the things we can, like forgiveness, second chances, fresh starts because what turns this world from a lonely place to a beautiful place is Love

, Love in any of it forms, Love gives us hope, Hope for the New Year. Happy New Year u'all xxx!!!

A night in Barcelona...lol

It was our first night in Barcelona, and the four of us had arrived with much enthusiasm that this holiday will be different from all the others, as we planned to enjoy our holiday to the maximum. Although considering we had spent our first day lazing around in the hotel trying to catch up on much deserved sleep as we had arrived with early flights this enthusiasm seemed just like a mere figment of our imagination. In order to make up for our wasted day we decided to have dinner at one of the beach side restaurants. It took at great deal of effort for us to drag ourselves out of bed and get ready for dinner. One of my friends was not feeling to well and was even contemplating staying in the hotel whilst we went and had dinner, as we were not having any of this she had to reluctantly drag herself out of bed and come along, all through the bus ride there she was in a crap mood as she was feeling ill.

We arrived at the restaurant and we were engaging in idle chat, when all of a sudden out of the blues my friend that had been feeling poorly all this while suddenly started screaming “oh my god that’s him” and then without another word she got up from the table and started sprinting towards the person she was referring to, the rest of us at the table sat there in utter shock and confusion, not knowing whether we should run after her but as we were still trying to take in what just happened we couldn’t even gather ourselves to move from the table. After about 5 minutes she returned saying that was not him. Obviously she had some explaining to do, since she had left us speechless at the table and also with curious stares from people seated nearby

So she started her story about some dude she had met about 6 years ago and how he was in a desperate situation and needed help financially, my friend out of the goodness of her heart gave him over 500 euros as he needed it for capital to start a business, and my friend told him to pay her when he had the money which he insisted will be in a certain time frame. When that time came the dude in question refused to pay the money back and even went as far as raining abuses on my friend. To cut the long story short the guy never returned the money and even moved to another country as he found love.

My friend had made up her mind that whenever she ran into this dude that her “isale eko trait” that had been suppressed since birth was going to magically resurface and that she was going to cause a major scene. By the end of her story we were cracking up in laughter as my friend had gone from being poorly to being so energetic in a matter of minutes. And we tried to imagine what would have happened if that had really been the dude, we might have spent our first night in Barcelona in a prison cell.

Lies, Lies and more Lies

When it comes to relationships, it is so hard to be truthful all the time. I feel in every kind of relationship there come times when we supplement the truth with lies, half-truths, fabricated stories or nicely put telling fibs.

We mostly feel the need to lie to stop the other person from feeling angry, hurt or even rejected. Most people say that in relationships it is necessary to lie; women lie, men lie and this is necessary to avoid hurting the other party. To a certain extent I do agree.
I think the line is drawn when a lie is told to build up oneself or to conceal something. Researchers have proven that in most cases there is a significant difference between the lies that women and men tell. The later often tell lies to boost their egos and conceal the ugly truth about themselves.

Lately I have found myself in situations where I have blatantly been lied to by the opposite sex and how it so offends my spirit, when a lie is told all in the name of bringing the other person down and sometimes even making you look like you are crazy person for insinuating it in the first place.

But the incident that has prompted me to write this is just the height of it.

A friend of mine has been in a relationship with her so called man for 4 years and like all relationships they were having a rocky patch and like all women she was hopeful that it was just a test of time, after all they had been together for 4 years, she blamed the problem on the distance as they didn’t live in the same city and she thought this problem would soon be rectified once she moved closer to him. So she went to see him over the weekend and surprisingly he was all lovey dovey which I bet gave her a little bit more hope. On this rare occasion she went through his phone only to find very incriminating text messages, in these messages she found that the “other woman” was dedicating her private parts to her man and even going as far as giving his private parts a name and there were also confessions of undying love from the “other woman”.

You can imagine the shock my friend was in and so she decided to confront her man about it, only for her to be blatantly lied to- as he had no idea what she was going on about and he had never seen the messages and it must have been sent with someone other than himself in mind. My friend went totally insane because her man was making her seem like some crazy bitch when his name was all over the text messages.

This is an ideal case of liar, liar pants on fire. Can you imagine the evidence was there and still the guy in question was daring enough to lie. Please permit me to reiterate myself by saying that this completely offends my spirit.

I really do hope my friend’s so called man will have the courage to fess up and just admit to his infidelity rather than take the cowardly approach and deny it.